Go go GOAL!

I've never thought about it, I could study abroad in my dream country.

I've never thought about it, I'm going to my dream country again after one year.

This time, I travel there with a different 'character',not being a tourist but a student + tourist. [HAHA]

I feel very grateful! 

Thank you my parents who fully support me no matter what.

For those who support me ,thanks a lot and I really appreciate everything! 

Besides that, since nothing is perfect, of course there are some people who feel stupid about my choice. 

I appreciate your comments and suggestions,but then why not you just give me a try first then only you give me your advice? 

Yea. Even though you agreed with everything, don't your mind is thinking that's such a funny choice?

I know it. Most of you doesn't look good at this. 

I don't care anyway since my parents support me.

Now I realize, our thoughts are totally different as we are getting older.

There's what people said, times flies and people change. That's true.

I admit that I've no 'proper' dream , but at least, I'm trying to figure it out.

I hope this 'trip' would inspire me.

Final decision

After so long, I had finally made my final decision.
My mom suggested me and my sister to go to the same University since our age is only 2 years difference.
Since I had graduated from my Foundation, I don't even know what course should I major in, and now I had made up my mind like finally.

I could said that my dream have finally come true. To those who knows me well could guess where am I going to proceed my studies. People might think that's crazy or even such a waste, I don't care what you're thinking because YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO PAY FOR MY TUITION FEE! Every profession produces its own leading authority. So ya! Why on earth I've to listen to the -so called- people with experience?
Why don't I just follow my dream right?
Once I enter that U, I've to study extremely hard. I don't wanna let people to look down on me and I wanted to let them know what I choose is the right choice !
I hope its really could bring me a bright future! I don't hope,suppose to be I DON'T WANT to waste so much of my parents'money just like that, without any reciprocation.
The most important thing should be, I wanted to do well to let everybody knows that what I choose to do is not a waste.

F for future

I think this is the only place that I could pour my heart out.
I was so freaking lost these days. The more options I have, the more confused.
I'm turning 20 this year and my life is still that....lifeless.
People happy sweet 19 or 20,  what about me?
All I could blame is myself. I hate myself being so timid all the time.
Thought I don't want to have a meaningful life? I really want it. Just like my elder sister. Because she is adventurous, she tried a lot of new thing, experienced different thing. That's what she made her life so meaningful and fulfilled. Honestly, I envy her. I admired her. Her life was filled with a lot of joy!
And yes, we can't compared . I didn't compare with her ,yet, I love the way she live.
I feel proud because I've a sister like that but how come I can't learn from her?
Her hard work, her adventurous, her courage.
I know everyone is different, everyone has their own characters and ability.
Maybe I was born to be like this? Timid, lack of confident and afraid of trying out new things!
Sometimes I really feel that I'm such a failure.
My goal is to earn a lot in the future to give my parents a better life. They do have a blissful life now but I wanted to give them a better one, a luxurious one!
4 of us, spent a lot of their money in our education.
What they built up since young, they give us all, without any complain.
So, I really hope I can pay them back one day.
I know I've to put one step forward to achieve my dream. Just because I'm not brave enough, I know I'll spoil my future with my own hand.
What should I do? What should I choose ?
-Korea HoWon University?
-Sabah Music Teacher Training?
-HELP Bachelor Degree in Psychology

Which one is the better one ?
Don't ask me which one is my preference . I'm enough for that.
If I know it, I'll not be here now.

Dream comes true?

I was so freaking disappointed about that.
I thought my dream really comes true this time, but it disappointed me once again.
I shouldn't blame anyone. It's my fate maybe..

Whenever I found my dream or whenever I found something that I really like to do, I will never get it.
I don't know why and I wonder why!
It's so hard for me to look at my own pathway, my so called 'dream' because I'm not good at studying, at all!

Since when I've such an absurd dream? Outsider might think that it's ridiculous, but for me, it's one of my dream.
People who know me well will know that I'm such a person who doesn't have any ambition. Yet, when I found mine, there'll not be any good news. What I said, "will not achieve". Yes. It might be hard to achieve, but why don't you just let me try?
One of my friend told me ,"I will accept failure but I'll never accept not trying".
Why give me such a hopeless hope all the time? Don't give me hope if it's followed by disappointment. It really hurts me more!
When the moment you know your dream is gonna come true and you lost it all of a sudden..That moment seriously could killed me! My heart break into pieces. Nobody will understand how I feel.
Words can't describe how disappointed I am, how sad I am.
Every cloud has a silver lining? I hope it's true.

But for now, I really fed up of everything. I rather live in my own world. At least, I'm happier.    

Dublin, Ireland!!

Hola! Feel free to update my blog.

Just to share my happiness here.

I went to Ireland last few weeks and the trip was awesome! 

I never dream of I will be going to Ireland someday. I just think of I wanted to visit Europe country like France or Italy but not Ireland. I feel thankful and lucky because I was able to visit Ireland in this age as I never imagine before. 

Well, I gained new experiences during this trip and it was really an eye opener trip.

First time travel to Europe country and the feeling was indescribable. That kind of joy,fun,happiness..

Ireland is a very nice country, as nice as the people there. They are friendly,good manners, gentle,humor and of course, there were a lot of handsome guys and pretty girls! hehe

Their country is very clean because they will clean the floor no matter what time is it. I saw quite a lot of times when they cleaned the floor.

And the thing  I admired the most is, people there can walk their dog no matter where they are even in the shopping mall. Just so great! 

And ya, the day I went back to Malaysia,my plane transited in France,Paris. I was like OMG! One of my favorite country that I wish to travel! Too bad that I'm not able to visit France this time, but I know I will visit there someday with my family! Wait for me, I will be back! 

Other than that, I learned their culture and lifestyle as well. It was a really great experience for me.

I feel grateful what God gives me in my life as well as what my parents give me. I appreciate a lot..

Even though I know someone might travel all around the world every single holiday or someone might not be travel often just because they cant afford, but I know, I'm one of the lucky girl who get an opportunity to travel, although I might travel once in a year. I still feel grateful.

Thank God for everything! 

And I wanted to earn more money in the future to give my parents a happier life and of course, I will bring them to travel all around the world! I hope I can do it! 

   

 

I did it!

Today is the result day again. I think I'll get heart attack every 3 months. so,ya.. I DID IT! I get a satisfied result this time. Not with flying colours (2 CR and 2 PS),but I'm really satisfied with it! My hard work paid off and I know it was really worth to sacrificed something before that. I sacrificed some family gathering as well as my favorite drama before that. No entertainment(TV shows)but only notes and books! I keep studying everyday before finals! I dont even accompany my cousin even though she came and visit me during her holiday because I know that my little sacrificed is able to come out with something that makes me happy! I can't believe I can pass my Psychology because I knew I had lost 10 marks for the last section! THANK GOD and also THANK my lecturer! I know it was because of their help! I finally have a good night sleep! I worried about my result since last 2 weeks which is the day I end of my final exam! and now, the hard time is over and I know I've to work hard for my degree even though I'm not sure what to take yet. LOL! So,I've to decide what to study in my future and work very very hard for my future! hwaiting!

Father's day 2013

Happy Daddy's Day to all the daddy around the world! I've a great celebration with my family today..:) 我发现我爸在这几年来消瘦了不少.可能是因为工作的影响，又有可能是为了我们，为我们操心每一件事。 再想想，我爸还为我们做了很多很多的牺牲。 有哪个爸爸像我爸一样那么细心？那么体贴？ 以前读书时期，我爸是最早起床的那一个，七早八早的为我们泡milo,一杯一杯的放在桌面，而且他还要记得哪个杯是谁的。一时还煮生熟蛋，一时还做我们最爱吃的鸡蛋面包便当拿去学校。我二年级的时候我爸还帮我穿校服，绑头发（对。我爸也做我妈那一份） 一时到了下课时间，我爸还拿便当给我们因为我们不喜欢吃食堂的食物。 我爸要工作，一时到了时间又要放下手头上的工作飞快的接我们放学。一时他迟了半小时我们还埋怨他为什么那么迟。我们以前根本没有想过他的感受。 当然，我爸也有他那严肃的一面。我知道他的严肃是为了我们好。 我好惭愧因为自从我上了中学以后成绩一落千丈。 我还记得我小学的时候弄我爸生气得不得了。每次我们去shopping,我爸一定买很多很多参考书给我，他每晚都会教我温习，可是以前的我总是不喜欢温习功课。所以有一次我气得我爸把所有的参考书给丢进垃圾桶里。(brand new books) [不过我有检回来。:P]我当时怕得哭了起来。说真的我真的很后悔。 我爸每晚都会抽时间出来教我读书，一字一句的解释给我听。他宁愿放弃他看电视节目的时间来陪我读书。 这么伟大的爸爸那里找啊! 又再想想，我爸真的真的为了我们放弃了很多东西。 有谁没有自己的dream car? 又有谁不想每年出国旅行？ 我爸为了省钱让我们读好的大学，放弃了他每一个自己想要的。 他的嘴里每次都说不要不要。其实心里很想要。就是他把我们放在第一位所以到如今都还没买自己的dream car. 他宁愿把他买dream car 的钱来供我们读书. 我爸宁愿买辆新车给我都不买给他自己。 我爸妈又有几年没出国旅行了？2009年去日本到现在。 在打这篇文章的时候，我的泪水打转着.. 我爸妈真的为了我们牺牲了不少！ 将来我一定一定会好好的报答你们。 等我赚到第一桶金，第一件事我不是买我想要的，而是买一辆车给我爸！ 我真的很幸运!dad,Thank you for everything! 我要什么有什么，真的真的知足了. My dad will never disappoint us. He will try to get what we want no matter what! I'm really lucky to have you..:) 아빠,감사합니다. 정말사랑해요!