Final decision

After so long, I had finally made my final decision.
My mom suggested me and my sister to go to the same University since our age is only 2 years difference.
Since I had graduated from my Foundation, I don't even know what course should I major in, and now I had made up my mind like finally.

I could said that my dream have finally come true. To those who knows me well could guess where am I going to proceed my studies. People might think that's crazy or even such a waste, I don't care what you're thinking because YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO PAY FOR MY TUITION FEE! Every profession produces its own leading authority. So ya! Why on earth I've to listen to the -so called- people with experience?
Why don't I just follow my dream right?
Once I enter that U, I've to study extremely hard. I don't wanna let people to look down on me and I wanted to let them know what I choose is the right choice !
I hope its really could bring me a bright future! I don't hope,suppose to be I DON'T WANT to waste so much of my parents'money just like that, without any reciprocation.
The most important thing should be, I wanted to do well to let everybody knows that what I choose to do is not a waste.

F for future

I think this is the only place that I could pour my heart out.
I was so freaking lost these days. The more options I have, the more confused.
I'm turning 20 this year and my life is still that....lifeless.
People happy sweet 19 or 20,  what about me?
All I could blame is myself. I hate myself being so timid all the time.
Thought I don't want to have a meaningful life? I really want it. Just like my elder sister. Because she is adventurous, she tried a lot of new thing, experienced different thing. That's what she made her life so meaningful and fulfilled. Honestly, I envy her. I admired her. Her life was filled with a lot of joy!
And yes, we can't compared . I didn't compare with her ,yet, I love the way she live.
I feel proud because I've a sister like that but how come I can't learn from her?
Her hard work, her adventurous, her courage.
I know everyone is different, everyone has their own characters and ability.
Maybe I was born to be like this? Timid, lack of confident and afraid of trying out new things!
Sometimes I really feel that I'm such a failure.
My goal is to earn a lot in the future to give my parents a better life. They do have a blissful life now but I wanted to give them a better one, a luxurious one!
4 of us, spent a lot of their money in our education.
What they built up since young, they give us all, without any complain.
So, I really hope I can pay them back one day.
I know I've to put one step forward to achieve my dream. Just because I'm not brave enough, I know I'll spoil my future with my own hand.
What should I do? What should I choose ?
-Korea HoWon University?
-Sabah Music Teacher Training?
-HELP Bachelor Degree in Psychology

Which one is the better one ?
Don't ask me which one is my preference . I'm enough for that.
If I know it, I'll not be here now.