F for future

I think this is the only place that I could pour my heart out.
I was so freaking lost these days. The more options I have, the more confused.
I'm turning 20 this year and my life is still that....lifeless.
People happy sweet 19 or 20,  what about me?
All I could blame is myself. I hate myself being so timid all the time.
Thought I don't want to have a meaningful life? I really want it. Just like my elder sister. Because she is adventurous, she tried a lot of new thing, experienced different thing. That's what she made her life so meaningful and fulfilled. Honestly, I envy her. I admired her. Her life was filled with a lot of joy!
And yes, we can't compared . I didn't compare with her ,yet, I love the way she live.
I feel proud because I've a sister like that but how come I can't learn from her?
Her hard work, her adventurous, her courage.
I know everyone is different, everyone has their own characters and ability.
Maybe I was born to be like this? Timid, lack of confident and afraid of trying out new things!
Sometimes I really feel that I'm such a failure.
My goal is to earn a lot in the future to give my parents a better life. They do have a blissful life now but I wanted to give them a better one, a luxurious one!
4 of us, spent a lot of their money in our education.
What they built up since young, they give us all, without any complain.
So, I really hope I can pay them back one day.
I know I've to put one step forward to achieve my dream. Just because I'm not brave enough, I know I'll spoil my future with my own hand.
What should I do? What should I choose ?
-Korea HoWon University?
-Sabah Music Teacher Training?
-HELP Bachelor Degree in Psychology

Which one is the better one ?
Don't ask me which one is my preference . I'm enough for that.
If I know it, I'll not be here now.