Dream comes true?

I was so freaking disappointed about that.
I thought my dream really comes true this time, but it disappointed me once again.
I shouldn't blame anyone. It's my fate maybe..

Whenever I found my dream or whenever I found something that I really like to do, I will never get it.
I don't know why and I wonder why!
It's so hard for me to look at my own pathway, my so called 'dream' because I'm not good at studying, at all!

Since when I've such an absurd dream? Outsider might think that it's ridiculous, but for me, it's one of my dream.
People who know me well will know that I'm such a person who doesn't have any ambition. Yet, when I found mine, there'll not be any good news. What I said, "will not achieve". Yes. It might be hard to achieve, but why don't you just let me try?
One of my friend told me ,"I will accept failure but I'll never accept not trying".
Why give me such a hopeless hope all the time? Don't give me hope if it's followed by disappointment. It really hurts me more!
When the moment you know your dream is gonna come true and you lost it all of a sudden..That moment seriously could killed me! My heart break into pieces. Nobody will understand how I feel.
Words can't describe how disappointed I am, how sad I am.
Every cloud has a silver lining? I hope it's true.

But for now, I really fed up of everything. I rather live in my own world. At least, I'm happier.